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When do toddlers show empathy?

The CDC's milestone checklist lists “Notices when others are hurt or upset, like pausing or looking sad when someone is crying” by 2 years, and comforting others who are hurt or sad, like hugging a crying friend, by 4 years. Most children (75% or more) do these by those ages. Worried? Ask your pediatrician.

Checked October 29, 2026.

What the CDC's checklists say

Milestones from the CDC's “Learn the Signs. Act Early.” checklists, word for word
ByThe CDC's milestoneMonth page
2 yearsNotices when others are hurt or upset, like pausing or looking sad when someone is cryingYour toddler at 24 months
4 yearsComforts others who are hurt or sad, like hugging a crying friendYour child at 4 years

Each row is from the CDC's checklist for that age (2 years, 4 years), checked October 29, 2026.

What “by 2 years” means

Developmental milestones are things most children (75% or more) can do by a certain age. The CDC puts each milestone at the age by which at least 75% of children would be expected to do it, so that even one missing milestone leads to a conversation with the doctor instead of “wait and see”. So “by 2 years” isn't an average. Many children do it sooner, and the checklists don't list everything a child learns.

What it can look like

Pausing or looking sad when someone cries, then bringing a toy or a hug to make it better.

What helps

  • Name feelings out loud: "She's sad. She bumped her knee."
  • Ask "What could we do to help?" when a toy or a friend is upset.
  • Notice and thank your child when they're kind.

Talk to your pediatrician if…

Your child isn't doing this by 2 years, the age on the CDC's list, has lost a skill they once had, or you're worried for any reason.

You know your child best. Don't wait. If your child is not meeting one or more milestones, has lost skills he or she once had, or you have other concerns, act early. Talk with your child's doctor, share your concerns, and ask about developmental screening.

If you or the doctor are still concerned, the CDC says to ask for a referral to a specialist, and to call your state's early intervention program (find the number on the CDC's list). You do not need to wait for a doctor's referral or a medical diagnosis to make this call. If your child is younger than 3 years old, contact your local early intervention system.

More from the CDC: Concerned about your child's development? If your child seems unwell, call your pediatrician, or 911 in an emergency.

Sources